All those long dark, dismal days spent in complete loneliness now seem like the most distant of distant memories. It's almost like we dreamed them up, the lonely seemingly never ending days and weeks.
Anyone going through, or having gone through a LDR, knows how much of a journey it can be. A journey in every sense of the word both mentally and physically. My partner and I now scoff and lament over the pregnant pauses we dealt with daily on Skype and Viber, the times you frequently talked over each other, the times you longed to see their face and hear their voice. All the times you struggled for conversation and in the deep recesses of your mind wondered does he/she still love me. I now shudder when I hear a Skype or Viber ringtone.
It's a time in my life I never have a wish to repeat. No matter if it's only a month or week we are apart. However, it's also a serious learning curve when it comes to relationships. If you feel the same way about them when you left the airport as when you first embrace them at the arrivals gate...then they are the one. The one you should be spending the rest of your life with.
If I could repeat our Ldr all over again, the only thing I try to do differently is maintain a healthy active lifestyle. I didn't, my method of dealing with the separation was to sulk, and wallow in my self-pity, while gently nudging depression away with every passing day. As I said It's the ultimate test of character for you both and your partner. We had no problems with trust, we trusted each other, we knew neither would be foolish enough to throw it all away by cheating. Not to sound clichéd but if you have faith and trust in your partner, then that goes a long way to quell the emotional sadness you feel daily.
The distance is the worst, knowing you're nowhere near them on a daily basis. Knowing you can't be anywhere near them on a daily basis. Cursing the omnipresent evil that is time difference. Time difference makes quite the difference all right, it can make you tired, grumpy, irritable, unengaged, unresponsive and a lot more. You are forever in a constant battle to get a time that suits both sides to talk. Usually, it ends up being too early or late for either person.
Even writing this now three months after my partner and I have reunited the depression, and repressed feelings are still there, they gushed out of me as I wrote this piece. They're buried somewhere in my subconscious. They'll always be there. Reminding me of the bad times and reminding me now how I'll strive never to feel those feelings again. Amazingly enough, our long distance eventually ended, and it returned to being a side by side relationship. I know for a fact when you're going through an LDR, it has the power to take over your life, to make you constantly lonely and miserable, it can make you a pale shadow of your former self. But amazingly enough, it does come to an end.
I know now in the grand scheme of things I don't/didn't have a lot to complain about, people worldwide experience a lot worse than what I did when I was going through an LDR. We were seven months apart it, felt like seven long years. When we reunited, we didn't rush headlong into each other's arms, with waterfalls of tears rushing down our cheeks. We casually hugged and chatted like we were never apart (partly due to the fact neither of us is good with PDAs*) like we were both catching up with an old friend.
The minute we met it was like we were never apart. Like I had never left Australia, I had never left her side, that I hadn't experienced living at home again for seven months. I was welcomed back by my new extended family with open arms. Now three short months later we've decided we will never be apart again. My partner is no longer just a partner, I'm proud to say she is my wife to be. We now live together in London and are already planning our next adventure together, our future life together.
I often think of those dark days during quiet reflection. I think of how bad I was—versus how I am now. As I've already said not only is it a physiological test, it's a physical test, an endurance test, a test of patience and faith, but a test you'll pass one day with flying colours. A test I hope you'll never have to sit again.
*PDA - Public displays of affection.
